Well, where do i start.
I've just watched a film and you know what they do to me! disastrous! It got me thinking, as always, and i felt like i should be updating this.
1st june - my 18th. Had an absolutely amazing birthday, I'm so lucky to have the family i do, would not change them for the world.
11th june - my 18th party. Amazing night, some people didn't turn up which upset me but the people that did where the people that mean the most to me and they all had a good night which I'm glad about :) I was super drunk mind but i guess I'm allowed :D
I was just reading the last post i wrote, Matt turned out to be a total waste of energy. That wednesday i went round to his, it was great, i had a really good night and several nights after but i knew that when his ex got back from uni, he would just sack me off and guess what he did - even after i spoke to him about it. He hasn't spoken to me since she's been back. Ahh well - used again.
Every single day i think about Jaime, i wish it would just GO AWAY! I don't want to think about him, i don't want to think about what him and his girlfriend are doing and how fucking happy they are. I hate it when i think about it, i try to stop - makes me do it more. Maybe i over think things but everything i do makes me think of him. Makes me mad. I guess it's just me been me but i always hope he's okay. i see his family still and sometimes ask emily if everyones okay. I do miss his family. It's hard watching my friends be happy. I guess i'm just jealous.
All my lots gone to tenerife this week - i wasn't allowed to go :| Bloody wish i had just ignored my mum and gone to be honest! Ashleigh went to NewZealand a few weeks ago and it was good! had a good laugh with everyone and i didnt have to think about her and what she would do to make a shit night. She does my head in - Shes back today and for god sake.. go back why dont you! If she starts telling me about newzealand, i'll just tell her to shut up - anyway i guess i wont be seeing charlotte and megan now!
I don't know what im doing with my life anymore, haven't got the slightly clue! Some people are so happy and so figured out.
Maybe i should start on the tablets again, even though they never work last time.
Well im going to cry myself to sleep again.
Goodnight x
