I always do this. I always get close to someone and i don't let them in. Seriously, what is up with that!?
Sam is proper lovely but i seem to find it so difficult to let people in - i want to let him in. i really like him yet all i seem to do is push people away? We get on so well and then i want something to happen with us and i go all sentimental on him and on us? urgh.
He asked me today if i still loved jaime and i didnt really know what to say. I just told him that i would always love him and he didn't look very happy about that. I dont want to love him. I don't want him in my life and Sam said he was very different from him. I want someone different from him, i'm just scared of getting hurt.
hmmm sometimes i think people must think i'm so weird. I'd rather talk to myself and a computer screen, which no-one is reading i dont think than let people in? wow.
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