It's amazing how everything can change in the space of a few hours.

I'm thinking so much and i don't even know what to say :(
If i could erase my past i would, but i can't and there isn't anything i can do about it! So why does it always come up whatever i do!?
Why can't that fuck off and never come up again!? Everything i do and every decision i make, it's there. Every person i speak to, it's there. I don't want that in my life anymore but it's there.. it's always fucking there. It's always fucking mentioned. It's always the one thing that makes in a complete mess.

You don't know how much i wanna leave, like next week. I really wish i could go with dad :(
Everything is such a mess. Everything's falling apart.

You don't know how much I'm considering just getting in my car and driving anywhere, i actually don't care. Somewhere where nobody knows me, nobody can bring up anything, nobody can judge me.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore.