Some people love to learn ...

There's something missing.
I haven't been on here for a while now purely on the fact that I don't really have anything to say. I haven't given up on Sam and I don't intend to... It's hard enough not speaking to him but having him been the way he is when he does speak to me is worse.
I've watched Season 2 of oth all week. All it seems to do is make me think about everything. To be totally honest, I haven't thought about Jaime all week.. The only thing I've thought about is how I don't think of him because I've got somebody else on my mind.
There's been an advancement in the Australia situation - Mums decided to go with dad a week tomorrow for a month to get him sorted. She hasn't fully decided yet because she stresses to much! There's the shop, money from the shop, wages, hours, me and gem. But we can always sort that out, she needs to stop worrying! She'll be on Skype every night anyway talking to us! It's gonna be difficult is she does go though. I applied for a job at manor court the other day purely on the fact that is she does go, I'll be struggling with my car. The MOT is due on the 1st of March and if it fails it, I'm screwed! :(
I went out on Friday night.. I kind of told Sam I thought I loved him aswell.. However, I did actually mean it. He doesn't seem to understand how much I like him and I've apologized a million times :( I got so drunk on Friday though... I can't believe how ill I felt yesterday! I am never drinking Vodka again... and I mean it! I'm sure there's another drink I get drunk from - Just not as bad!
I feel like last year I lost myself and I'm finally starting to find myself again... I just don't want to fall of the rails again! Doctors again on Friday, to either get some more tablets or change them, I haven't really thought about what I'm going to say yet.

Once you lose yourself you have two choices... find the person you used to be, or lose that person completely because sometimes you have to step outside of that person you've been and remember that person you want to be, that person you are.