I'm always waiting.

Well, I'm waiting for an answer. I met Jaime, AGAIN last night. I really need to stop. 
Soo, I told him that he has to make a choice. Jasmine or me or if he doesn't reply at all, I'm telling Katie (Jasmines best friend) everything due to the fact that i sent her an email last night about having sex with him, it was actually by accident! Anyway, I ended up sending it and she replied saying that they thought more had happened but she wasn't sure whether or not to tell Jasmine because apparently 'its clear they both love each other.' Absolute joke. If you love somebody you DON'T cheat on them every weekend!!!! urgh. Actually, you don't cheat on them at all. I know that when i was with him, i was totally stupid and was texting this idiot but i would have never have actually cheated on him. 
Anyway, if I don't get an answer, I'll just tell her - If he chooses Jasmine then I'm just never gonna see, speak to or text him at all because I can't keep doing this to myself. Gonna be difficult because i know what I'm like but I'll just have to.
I was speaking to Gemma today and she told me that she's basically back with Tony. I don't really mind anymore - not really sure what mum will say but if she's happy then fine. He clearly loves her because he hasn't had another girlfriend and it's been over a year and i know she loves him. I really wanted to tell her everything about Jaime but I didnt :\ To be honest, i know that if you love each other then you make it work but i don't see how it wouldn't. We haven't been together for a while now, actually it's nearly a year i think and you just gotta start again totally. Whatever happened in the past, stays in the past because i know i made a hell of alot of mistakes and i think i've grown up alot aswell. He said last night that why couldn't we leave things how they were because we don't argue and stuff but I'm not been the 'bit on the side' it's not fair on Jasmine and it isn't fair on me when he knows full well how much i love him. hmm :(
I'll give him another hour and then i suppose I'm gonna tell her. He even said last night that he doesn't know why he's with her. 
I'm also so sick of Australia been an excuse. If i go, i go. If i don't then i don't. End of. But its always been 'you're moving' well honey, I'm still bloody here. 


- I loved you so much that I thought someday that you could change, but all you brought me was a heart full of pain.