Well, I suppose i might aswell tell you now.. I did end up sleeping with Jaime last Saturday night and I must admit .. it was pretty amazing. He claims that he loves me and all this but we can't be together, he'd cheat on the person he 'loves' with me.. Funny this is right, when we were together, he never cheated on me and i knew that he loved me yet apparently she's his 'life' and he doesn't really care unless i tell her? hmmm. To be honest, he probably doesn't want me to say anything because Rebecca's boyfriend threatened him. Hmm.. Well I'm off out again tomorrow so we shall see i suppose. I told Naomi earlier, only person I think i've told because she doesn't know them so she won't say anything. She doesn't understand either. Jaime said in a message that he's doing this for me.. what exactly are you doing for me? Because if I'm totally honest, my head is so messed up :(
Oh, he also lied to me.. not much change there.. He was meant to be going to wales, so he said and hasn't gone? I hate seeing him at school aswell, it makes me so frikking angry when i see him with her. I really just want to tell her but i guess i just don't want to hurt him. Nothing ever bloody straight forward is it.
Been speaking to my mum and dad earlier. They said that it was really expensive to live over there and she isn't sure what's going to happen yet. Soo i might not or i might be off.. urgh, i wish i bloody knew. It's always a different story everyday. Schools pissing me off and if i stay here, i don't even think I'm gonna get into Uni. Yeah, i got all my offers back as conditional but that doesn't mean I'm going to get an A and two B's :|
Well i suppose i better head off to bed! At work in the morning and like i said, I'm out tomorrow night.. soo we shall see, again.
I keep thinking.. if this is love then why aren't we together? and if it's sex and not love, why can't i move on?
No comments:
Post a Comment